Another side
by sanctuary fan
Summary: Another side of their relationship. The last side... The end of the story is up. Let me know what you think.
1. Chapter 1

Another side

He woke up and it took him a second to remember what had happened that night. Inside he was happy and fulfilled, but he feared her reaction... She had just played along last night, it had looked like she didn't even wanted it, she was just to polite... What had he done? He turned around in his bed to see her, but she wasn't there. It was 5 o'clock in the morning and she was gone... A sudden feeling of guilt froze his mind. Had he forced her into something she hadn't wanted?

Helen Magnus was sitting at her desk thinking franaticaly. What the hell had happened? How dared he? Why didn't she stop him when she definetly didn't want to sleep with him? How was she going to handle this situation? "Stupid, stupid, stupid, you lived 158 years for nothing! What were you thinking giving into a man's demands? What if he needed it? YOU DIDN'T!" She threw her cup into the mirror from the wall. She couldn't stand herself, she couldn't get his sent off of her, his taste from inside her mouth, his sobbing from her ear. She couldn't forget and was sure that he wouldn't. Her relationship with him was threatened to be over because of desire and stupidity, his desire and her stupidity.

Ashley's death, Watson's death, John's departure, Tesla's devampirising... She was alone. Sleeping with him made her more aware of the loneliness surrounding her, but, at least helped him by confirming his theory that she had gave up months ago on surviving and accepting her role and future. So yes, he was right, she didn't care anymore about her work, her life, about anything. Why would she? Her daughter was dead, she was the last of the five and she would burry everyone she knew...That's why she didn't stop him from kissing her, from running his fingers all over her body, she just took off her clothes and sat down on the bed, he did the rest too absobed by his lust to see that her mind was wondering away...

Will got up from bed with the urge to go to her, to talk to her, to apologise, to explain, to stay there as long as it took to fix whatever he screwed up. What had he done? He remembered then very clearly her face, her body, her sent and taste, his pleasure, but he couldn't remember her eyes, her voice or, for that matter any sound, except for his own... Why? He stopped. What was he going to say to her? How should he start? Still, he respected and cared for her too much to just leave it alone and act according to her further behaviour. He had to be the one to start a conversation...

He entered her office without knocking, because he was afraid she wouldn't allow him in.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" He asked the first thing that ran through his mind

She looked at him with her usual business posture that betraied absolutely nothing of her state of mind

"Yes, about an hour ago."

"Don't hide from me..." he pleaded standing in her doorway like a child who knew that he did something wrong

"I have nothing to hide after last night", she said in a cold voice, ignoring his posture. It was a new situation for her, she didn't know how to respond and act. She was used to casual sex, but, until then it had been her choice and she had always left after. Whenever the case, her lovers were willing and expecting. But this time was different, this time he was a coworker, a friend, a man she cared for very much, for whom she would die.

"Maybe I deserve that... Can we talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about, we have a lot of work today. I need you and Henry to go retreive an abnormal from the border. He's being sent from the UK Sanctuary. Aparently he got violent after the latest storm. Henry has already prepared a place in the SHU for him. We'll probably need your expertise on what turned him violent".

"Don't do this, Magnus, tell me how you feel!" Will said and move toward her. She straighened her back and looked him in the eyes for the first time that morning.

"You should know how I feel, you're the expert in observing and putting into words my feelings and thoughts. You tell me what you expect of me now and what I should feel."

"That's cold, Magnus... Even for you..." Will said, the disapointment in his eyes burning her soul. "I just want you to talk to me, to tell me where we stand, if you're OK, if we're OK, if you're hurt, if I've hurt you, if I should leave."

Helen took a deep breath, she wanted to scream at him, to erase what had happened that night, to forget, she wanted to had stopped it all before happening. She expected him to save her from all the hurt she had been feeling, but not like that, not like what he did...

"We slept together, that's all. We can't take it back, I can only make sure it won't happen again."

"Why did you sleep with me?"

"Because you wanted it."

Her answer struck him like a thunderbolt.

"And you didn't?" He whispered, starting to understand

"That's irelevant," she answered, trying to preserve her calm and cold composture. "What had happend since the war with the Cabal was affecting both of us and it interfered with our work. Last night was just a way to clear your mind, at least one of us should be able to perform the duties without distractions. I've already started to lose my focus and I think the time for you to assume comand is closer than you expect. Now, Henry is waiting for you, you should go."

Will couldn't believe what she told him. Time for comand? She slept with him because he needed to clear his mind? She became a distraction? Where did this all came from? How much had he hurt her? He looked at her one more time, but she was already reading a file from her desk. At least he knew that continuing a conversation would get him nowhere this time.

After 12 hours, the abnormal was in the SHU. Henry had noticed someting was wrong with Will, but he decided not to pursue the matter. All the years living in the Sanctuary taught him that people were better left alone until they want to talk about what's bothering them.

Will got back to the Sanctuary with a growing feeling of dispare and fright. This time he had no ideea how to fix the problem. He needed to fix it, but the memory of the night before was too strong and, ironically, too much of a distraction. He loved her, he needed her in that way again and again, he wanted her beautiful body more than anything, he wanted more of her with every minute. He had to fix that.

He knocked at her office door and waited for the answer. He went in and reported that everything went OK on the mission. Her figure was so damn professional ...

"When will you start working with our new pacient?" She asked him without looking up from the file in front of her.

"As soon as he get's comfortable here, I figure the day after tomorow."

He felt the tears filling his eyes

"Tell me what to do to fix this", he pleaded

"There's nothing to fix", she finally looked at him. "This was my mistake, I broke my owm rule about not sleeping with my employees, this is entirely my problem, you have other concerns."

He didn't react. She looked at him more closely and saw that she was hurting him, but she was also hurting. For the first time in her life she felt like this was something that wouldn't go away by discussing it. This won't go away between them and it was time to face it.

"I'm sorry Will. I should have stopped you... I should have left, but I really thought then that it was the best way to handle what's been going on in our lives. I was wrong and I'm sorry it was you that got in the middle. I won't allow this to go on, I can't..." She looked at him the same way she looked when they first met strong and proffesional.

Will realised she was closing inside from him and he couldn't do anything about that, she wouldn't let him. His heart was breaking, but he finally understood that the woman in front of him chose a life of loneliness as a punishment for all of her mistakes whether she deserved it or not.

He went to her desk and kneeled at her feet, looking at her lap, tears running loosely on his face. It was the only way he could show her his consideration. It would be the last time... He was left with memories of her as his friend, as his lover on his bed. One night had been enough for their relationship to die and she became his boss once again...

She didn't move. She was too hurt living with what had happened in her life, not being able to express the pain, nor to soothe his... Will finally got on his feet and left without looking back.

She didn't look at him leaving. Her soul was shettered in too many pieces and she finally succeded in driving away the only person that could glue them together. She was screaming inside, the pain was too much to face, but on the outside she looked calm and rational. She burried too many lovers so she got very good at evoiding long term relationships. She didn't need this, another complication. For the first time in 158 years she realised she was too old for this life...


	2. Chapter 2

The sequel

A week passed after the night they had slept together. The tension between them was no longer a secret from everybody inside the Sanctuary, just the cause. Henry tried to question Will about what had happened between him and Magnus, but got no response. The Big Guy respected his boss' intimacy asking only if she was all right. Helen had looked at him with sad eyes and lied with a low "of course I am". It was enough for the Big Guy to understand she did not want him to pursue the matter further.

Will had still hopped that after a couple of days he could speak to Magnus, but she continued to shut him off at every attempt. She was so angry and Will didn't care anymore if she was angry at herself, at him or both. He wanted her so much, he fantasized about clearing things up with her and then having her willingly again in his bed. He couldn't stand the situation anymore; he couldn't stand having just a dry employer – employee relationship with her. There were no more talking at night in her office on the sofa in front of the fireplace, no more small talk about the current day, no more flirting, cheeky remarks and stirring smiles. He missed her so much. After a week, he decided it was time to face Magnus one last time and set up an appointment with her.

Helen was furious, better yet had been furious for the last week but couldn't quite pin point the source of her anger. She had too many things going on in her head and she felt like another friend had died. In a way, she was right: the friendship between her and Will had died that night. It should have been different, it should have been a good memory, not a memory she resented and not a bad dream she continued to wake up from with cold drops of sweat on her forehead. She did fantasized sometimes about kissing Will and making out on the sofa after their long talks at night, but even in her fantasies she imagined stooping everything before sleeping with him. She found the foreplay much more exciting than sex itself; she definitely enjoyed the thrill better. For her, sex came much later when the sexual tension became unbearable. Therefore, sex was always intense and satisfying. She didn't have that with Will, the games they had played were too subtle and mostly too innocent to feel the sexual tension rising, they were both very careful to keep it at bay. She never thought it would come to that. She was angry at herself for ruining her relationship with Will in such a degrading and totally undignified way. Why didn't she put a stop to it? Maybe because she expected Will to understand that that wasn't what she wanted, but for once he didn't. Actually, it was entirely her fault. She had gone to his room at night to talk to him and had responded to his kisses. But that's all she had wanted, not sex. Instead he had read the signs and continued. She had just allowed him to satisfy his desire turning everything into a bad memory. She could have stopped him. More internal torment; she found it fitting for her character.

Will went in Helen's office.

"I can't go on like this" he began abruptly. "I miss you, I want you, I want a chance to rekindle our relationship. You made it clear that you won't give me that chance and I can't be around you; work with you acting like we've just met. I need more."

"I can't give you more". Helen was surprised by his determination.

"Do you think you will be able to get past what happened between us and try to forgive me?"

"I can't promise you that".

"I have run out of ways to make up for that night. I can't live here knowing that I have hurt you, that you didn't want to sleep with me. You needed comfort and I misunderstood."

"Will, it was entirely my fault. I should have stopped you. I am sorry it has gotten to this."

"I am sorry also. I will be leaving tomorrow. I have one more report to finish and you'll have all my papers by tomorrow morning on your desk."

"You are leaving. Are you sure it is the best resolve for you?" Helen didn't expect that news. It hurt her badly but her pride didn't let her try to change his mind. If that was what he wanted she wouldn't stand in his way. But she knew he didn't want to leave, he was leaving with a guilty conscience because of her and he just needed a flicker of hope from her that they would eventually be fine and he wouldn't leave, except she wouldn't give him that. She tried not to show her surprise.

"It is the only resolve I could find." Will looked at her. "Thank you, Magnus, for opening my eyes to a new world".

They stood in silence for a couple of minutes, Will looking at Helen for one last time as if taking in her face, her body, her hair, her perfume, memorizing every wrinkle, every shadow of makeup, the way her clothes revealed her forms. It should be a good memory. Helen was looking back at him torn between anger and distress. She wanted to react to his decision, but she didn't find the right way. For that moment, asking him to stay wasn't an option. Will left her office with a sad smile and a soft-spoken "goodbye"; he knew she wouldn't say anything. And she didn't.

The next day, Will had his entire luggage in the lounge. The Big Guy and Henry were waiting for him.

"You really are leaving!" said Henry with a disappointed look on his face.

Will shook his had, gave him a quick hug and turned to the Big Guy. He smiled. He had spent almost two years at the Sanctuary with them, enough time to change his image of monsters into the image of extraordinary people. The Big Guy smacked him on the head and helped with the luggage.

"Aren't you waiting for the boss?" Henry finally realized that Magnus wasn't there.

Will smiled sadly.

"She won't be coming; we've already said our goodbyes"

Helen stood on the rooftop looking at Will leaving. His taxi was waiting at the gate. Tears were running freely down her face but she was glad he couldn't see them. She had let him walk away. It was the end of another chapter of her live, a very short one, in which she had honestly believed after all those years of shutting down that she would have been able to develop another lasting friendship with someone who hadn't judged her and had understood her. She had been so wrong. She didn't know how to open up to others anymore and, maybe, she didn't even want to.

Will stopped and turned around looking on the roof top. She knew he would turn around. He stood there watching her for a few seconds then turned and left. _Goodbye, Will_,she sighed and wiped her tears.


	3. Chapter 3

**The conclusion**

Will was gone for about 8 months. Business had gone on as usual just as if nothing had happened. Helen's behavior had imposed that attitude. No one talked about Will in front of her, she never mentioned him.

One day they received a visit from an empath. His wife had died six month before his visit. He was left with a 12 year-old daughter who inherited his power and who couldn't manage it, or listen to her father. The man wanted help in dealing with his daughter and also wanted the Sanctuary crew to help her control and focus her power.

"Nothing's working, doc" Henry said with a resigned sigh a week later. "We need to try some other approach."

Helen raised her head with determination in her eyes.

"We need Will!"

* * *

"Why are you here?" Will tried not to show his surprise and act indifferent even though his heart was racing. _God you're beautiful…_

"I need your insight" Helen stated without any introduction. For her it seemed the best approach to keep it professional.

He smiled sadly. "I told you I can't do this anymore, not like this…"

"I cannot give you what you want, but I need you to listen to me" Helen said with an imposing tone. "There's no time to waste talking about rubble, we have a situation."

"Stop!" Will interrupted her speech roughly, but Helen didn't even flinch.

"Rubble? You slept with me, and then you rejected me. I left because of that and now you just show up and have the audacity to ask for my help. Do you hear yourself?" continued Will, his tone still raised. He suddenly remembered he was at his office and his colleagues were already looking at him.

"Do you think I would show up here if it wasn't important? I do not want to hurt you Will, but we really need your help", Helen finally spoke. "Can we go somewhere to talk more privately? I will not leave until I tell you why I came"

"There's a small coffee shop around the corner"

* * *

Together at the table, not talking, seemed like old times back at the Sanctuary's dining room. But that was a long time ago…

"I know you are bitter, Will" Helen started the conversation "but you are also selfish. This is not about us; it's about a 12 year-old girl with a very special power that scares her, with no mother around to comfort her and a completely overwhelmed father. He asked us for help because the girl doesn't want to learn to control her power and it's affecting her sanity. Please Will, she's breaking apart and we cannot help her. She needs you…" Helen looked at him. She had to always remember that she had a Victorian upbringing therefore she leaded her life on the "work first" statement. People these days always want to clear some complicated sentimental situation and then get to work. Will tended to be one of those persons from time to time.

"Will you help us?" Helen tried one more time.

"Just like this, after all these month, you show up and demand my help on a situation that I no longer want to be involved in. Don't you think we should try to clarify things first?" Will was really going to make the best of this unforeseen situation and clear some of the waters around them. He had really missed her.

"You have really just been selfish. Leaving the Sanctuary, leaving your life's dream work because I wouldn't sleep with you is childish, don't you think? You are a reporter now, because the Police and FBI don't acknowledge you and you have a bad reputation among the psychiatrists' community because of your 'out of the box' points of view, no one knows how competent you are except the entire Sanctuary network, except me " Helen was annoyed by then but Will was right, they needed to talk. At least if that was what it took for him to help them…

"I have never explained myself when men were concerned, so consider yourself privileged." Helen paused and cocked her head. She wanted to be sure that Will understood exactly what she was saying. He did and he wouldn't interrupt her.

"When I was young I met the man who became the love of my life, the only love of my life. I have lost him because of our arrogance, because we were too infatuated with being smarter and better than everyone else to realize that we were still too young and inexperienced to understand the entire faces of this world. I grew up along the way and learnt that the truth can usually hurt but it cannot fade away strong feelings; time can barely do that. I will always love John, no matter that our relationship has been over for more than a century. Only innocence can turn love into the love of a life and I hadn't have that innocence anymore for a very long time, longer than your life, Will." Helen paused, talking about John and admitting aloud that she still loved him wasn't her strong point. She took a deep breath and straightened her posture.

Will didn't like where Helen's monologue was going. Somehow, he still hoped she would want to be with him, but didn't dare interrupt her. He knew from experience that tampering with Helen's willingness to express feelings would shatter her determination and the conversation would be over. He would let her finish and try to deal with whatever conclusion she would come to then. So, he remained quiet and she continued.

"I have loved other men but never the way I loved John: I loved their intelligence, their looks, the way they touched me, their strength, their devotion. But by then I had became most of the Helen Magnus you know and every relationship since started with infatuation for what I represented on their part and the need to closeness from my part. It ended either by their deaths or by the time they started demanding more. There is a limit of my involvement in any relationship: stepping out of the boundaries of a compromise. I have dedicated my life to my work; it is of upmost importance for both people and abnormals; it will always be my priority. Most of the times work and love are not compatible, so I have to choose and I choose my work. Therefore, 'normal' relationships are not a valid option for me, rather occasional meetings and weekends."

At that moment, Will wasn't looking at her anymore. He understood he had no chance of her wanting him as a partner and something started bubbling inside of him, he just couldn't tell what exactly.

"You, my dear Will, are young and still have some part of innocence, don't let it go to waste. I know that you love me, but Will, you see me as a riddle, a challenge, you constantly feel the need to mend me, even when I do not need to be mended because my pain and regrets are a part of who I am and they sometimes fuel my determination to go on. You don't have to deny it" Helen said the moment Will showed the first signs of indignation. "It is flattering even after all these years" she continued with a soft smile. "And you are right; I am not just another woman… After being alive as long as I have, one gets a dash conceited from time to time and I've grown to like getting what I want from men without asking much. I know I can have the same thing with you, but I respect you and I am fond of you."

Will couldn't take it anymore. He began talking with a sad smile on his face.

"You're fond of me… always the politically correct Helen… I know you love me and that you are just scared I'll one day die and you'll be hurt again. But I would have made it worth it; I would have given you everything"

"I know" Helen closed her eyes and took his hand. She was surprised he didn't retract it. "You complete me, professionally and, yes, personally. And I do love you Will, how could I not? You are a Kind, compassionate, strong, highly intelligent, insightful and a damn curious man. You give me closeness, you put up with my quirks and you give me fresh perspectives on everything. Instead, I cannot give you what you want. I can't get into a romantic relationship with you and still be friends and coworkers, because, Will we have different concepts of 'a life time'. We sort of need compatibility on that for a romantic relationship to work, don't you agree?" He knew it was a rhetoric question and settled with raising an eyebrow. Helen continued. "After you left everything felt empty. I miss our midnight talks, our teasing, your annoying way of analyzing me, your warm embrace. I made a horrible mistake and I pay for it every day since you left. I was too prideful to stop you from leaving. You are the only one I could think of to carry on my work when the time will come. All I ask now is think about that girl who needs your help. About the rest, I will not allow you to run away again because of a mistake. I will do my best to get us through this situation. I can only hope you want this too." Helen got up and buttoned her jacket. Will opened his mouth to speak, but she shushed him.

"Not today, think about it over night and I'll be waiting for you in my office early in the morning. If you don't come I will be forced to insist, because I really believe that 8 months are enough to get over a night with me and be able to have a normal conversation. Still, keep in mind that no matter what I find begging demining, but I will try everything short to it." With that she left imposing as always.

Will smiled, after all this time he really didn't expect her to come to him. Still he was baffled and confused. Did she came to him because she really missed him and used the girl as an excuse, or was it the other way around: she did need his help and try anything to gain it. He wanted so bad to believe the first alternative, because those months had been dreadful for him and maybe this was his chance to fell a little better.

* * *

_The Sanctuary 06.30 a.m._

Helen was at her desk for more than an hour looking as dashing as always. However, she took a while longer applying her make-up. Her outfit was flawless, but she needed to straighten her blouse and rearrange the neck line. She looked at the clock for the nth time since she had woken up. Will wasn't an early riser and she knew that. For the next 2 hours she read e-mails, filled in acquisitions forms, reviewed and signed expenses reports and coordinated with the entire Sanctuary network.

Finally, there was a knock on her door. Helen raised her head to see Will standing and waiting for her invite.

"Come in, Will, please sit down."

"Still barely sleeping? Even you need rest from time to time." After all the time spent far away from the Sanctuary Will found it easy to resume their taunting.

"I am glad you came. I hope it's not just for the little girl."

"Helen Magnus, you are not easy to get over, but I respect your choice. Now, take me to the girl."

Helen got up and Will held out his hand for her. After a moment of hesitation, Helen took his hand with a warm smile. Maybe they will be able to get over what had happened.

"Welcome back, Will!"

**The end**


End file.
